“WE WUZ WRONG!” – Cartel

“WE WUZ WRONG!” – Cartel

18th Jun 2018 Off By Belson Keating

Hold on to your beer glasses Belsonators, the absolutely unthinkable has happened. World Rugbytainment™ Cartel itself has admitted its henchmen were WRONG to red card French fullback, Benjamin Fall, in the RIGGED test match “won” by the All Pacific this past Saturday. A so-called “independent” Cartel judicial committee found that: “… the player, at all times, had his eyes on the ball whilst it was in the air, which showed, in our opinion, a clear intention, on the part of the player, that he intended to contest it.” Well WTF did Professor Belson tell you right from the beginning? Who needs an “independent” judicial committee when you have the one and only Belson?

Of course the Cartel’s admission of guilt isn’t going to help the French much now, is it? The series is already lost 2-0 thanks to two consecutive test matches in which the poor French have had to soldier on with 14-men against a cartel sponsored All Pacific XVI. What an absolute joke! As one could expect, the Cartel remained absolutely silent on whether Angus Gardener or any of this other apparently incompetent accomplices would be sanctioned for their role in this sorry state of affairs. But of course not! A player can so much as ruffle a sacred All Black jersey and will be banished to the salt mines but a ref can completely and utterly destroy a test match and literally ruin everything for all 30 players, a stadium packed to the brim with thousands of spectators and millions of viewers around the world and literally NOTHING will happen to him! Spare a thought for the hard working men and women who pay top dollar – and also rands – to go to the stadium and light up the atmosphere of a test match only for some little prancing ref to hijack the whole situation for his own “Look mom, I’m TV!” moment. Absolutely pathetic!

As I’ve been saying for literally years chaps, rugby is dying and referees are the ones killing it with the slow poison of their own refereeing incompetence. But let’s not let the laws of rugby off the hook either. The laws of the game – which one sometimes thinks are written in strange hieroglyphics such is the need for “interpretation” – are fast turning rugby into a spectacle almost as pathetic as soccer. We’ve already got fake TV dives, Oscar-worthy acts of feigned injury and celebrity referees who think they are bigger than the game itself.

I have to fully agree with English flanker James Haskell who earlier this year described rugby as a “pretty pathetic sport” due to ridiculous actions of pedantic referees. Even Hillbilly Hansen, the NZ coach, has said red cards are ruining test matches and that rugby union should take a leaf out of the league book and place acts of alleged indiscretion on review rather than make snap judgments in the heat of the moment. Such a process  would see acts of alleged foul play referred to a tribunal AFTER the game and avoid the situation where the grandstanding ref appoints himself judge, jury and executioner in the middle of the game. But until that day arrives folks, rugby remains RIGGED!

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