USA Trumpenate the Skirts
Houston, Scotland has a problem! And it’s called rugby! That’s right folks, the God Emperor’s own USA have made rugby great again by vanquishing an entire 15-man band of tartan-clad heathen who attempted to invade the great state of Texas.
At one point, with the Skirts up 21-6, it looked like it was going to be a repeat of Pearl Harbour for the US but thanks to a rousing effort they managed to build a great defensive WALL and made Scotland pay for it…on the scoreboard! Like giant Eagles the USA swooped on every Scottish mistake and soon found themselves leading the match. At one point the Skirts almost snatched the lead when centre Mark Bennett looked to have scored, but an action replay showed he lost it over the line – just like Hilary on election night! After that the Scottish campaign began to disintegrate, leaving the mighty USA to celebrate a BIGLY 30-29 victory.
Kim Jong-Un immediately telephoned the God Emperor to convey his congratulations. Of course, I was also quick to remind him of the vital role that two fellow Saffas had played in making US rugby great again. Yes, you read that correctly Chinas! The USA rugby team is coached by none other than former Bok discard, Gary Gold! Old Goldmember has managed to score himself a green card teaching the yanks how to play rugby! Can’t believe I didn’t think of that! And then there’s the beautiful fact that one of the USA’s tries was scored by one Hanco Germishuys! Was there ever a more Saffa surname than Germishuys?! So there you have it Chinas – the Scots have been tomahawked on US soil with the help of two Saffa mercenaries. It fills me with a great sense of pride!