South Africa’s Best Centre Leaves for England!
Hulking green MONSTER centre Rohan Janse van Rensburg – acknowledged far and wide as the best number 12 in the GREAT nation of South Africa – has signed a three-year deal with some crappy English team called the For Sale Sharks (what a ridiculous name).
Of course, the FAKE NEWS lamestream rugby media is claiming Janse van Rensburg is leaving our fine shores just to be with his old mate Faf de Klerk. Now Uncle Belson knows that Faf is a good bloke, but he’s not THAT good! The real reason can only be that Janse van Rensburg continues to be IGNORED by the Bok establishment despite being the greatest practitioner of running over people that rands can currently buy!
Apparently the For Sale Sharks are over the moon with their purchase. Well, of course they are! The fine young hulking Saffa recently completed a short-term stint at the Pom outfit in November to cover for the injured Kiwi Johnny Leota and local lad Will Addison. Janse van Rensburg so hopelessly overshadowed these two imposters during his short term stint with the club – which saw him score no less than three incredible tries in a mere eight games – that the bosses at the club decided to throw YUGE amounts of pounds at him in exchange for having to live in England.
As much as it galls Uncle Belson, I have to admit that Her Majesty’s peso does have some benefits. And those English pubs do have a certain charm to them. Then there’s also the fact that the public transport more or less works, the postal system doesn’t “lose” everything you post, they have like a million TV channels on Sky and the women folk are generally very cheap dates. In fact, I’m starting to see exactly why old RJVR decided to do a runner. Anyone know if there’s a publication in the UK that requires the services of a renowned Rugbytainment™ expert?