Angus the Gardener ADMITS Guilt!

Angus the Gardener ADMITS Guilt!

28th Nov 2018 Off By Belson Keating

Angus the Gardener, the man who committed Bryce Larceny against the Sprinboks by robbing them of a magnificent hulking green victory over the Poms just a couple of weeks ago, has ADMITTED that he was wrong when he turned a blind eye to Owen Farrell’s blatantly illegal tackle in the dying seconds of the test match against the incredible green warriors of Yarpie Land.

“I think in hindsight now, having discussed it with some other referees… I think the general consensus would be that a penalty was probably the outcome there that should have been given,” Guilty Gardener told some crappy lame stream publication in England.

“I think we need to see a wrap with both arms, and I think in hindsight – although he got pinned – there wasn’t a big enough wrap from both arms, really. There was a wrap with one arm [Ed: STILL LYING!], but there wasn’t a wrap with the other arm,” said the Gardener as he tried to put a characteristically dishonest Aussie spin on everything. “It was never high, and so all we were looking at was the tackle technique. The collision itself also kind of swayed my decision because it was a big rugby collision, and we see these hits in the game,” Gardner added.

When the Gardener was asked why he hadn’t come to that conclusion during the game he offered this LAME excuse: “The angles that I saw with the TMO, which were the head-on angles, showed a clear wrap of the front arm [Ed: GARBAGE!], but it was the back arm which got pinned. Of the angles that I was showed in the stadium at the time, that seemed to me to be enough of a wrap for me to constitute a legal tackle. [Ed: LIES!]

“It was never high and so all we were looking at was the tackle technique. The collision itself also kind of swayed my decision because it was a big rugby collision and we see these hits in the game. [Ed: YES, AND THEY GET PENALISED!]

“We don’t always get it right [Ed: OH REALLY?] and we understand that there are going to be decisions that are going to heavily influence the game. At this level the expectation is that we do get it right – and that’s what we’re striving to achieve – but we don’t always. I suppose that’s the best way, just to be honest about it. If I made a mistake, I’ve got to put my hand up and say I was wrong, and hopefully if I see that again then I’ll know where I’m heading.”

Okay boys, if you’re struggling to make sense of the Gardener’s artful Aussie meandering around the truth, let Uncle Belson translate it into plain English for you: “I got the Farrell tackle call wrong!” The only thing the Gardener forgot to add were the words: “on purpose!” You see, there is no way that Guilty Gardener didn’t look at the replay of that tackle on the big screen and come to the conclusion it was legal. He knew it was bad but realised if he awarded a penalty to the Boks, they’d probably sneak a final second win that they didn’t really deserve infront of 80,000 angry poms. So instead of doing what was just (i.e. award a penalty to the Boks) he conjured up the lame excuse that there were enough arms in the tackle. Later he changed this to enough of one arm. Tell me, how the F^&# does this show wrapping of the arms?

Last time I checked Gardener wasn’t blind. So how did he miss something we could all see? Well, I’ve just explained that haven’t I? So why the sudden apology. Well, the Cartel has obviously realised that they set a nasty precedent with letting this one slide. Just this last week Farrell was at it again, taking out an Aussie with a similarly illegal tackle and yet again he got off Scott free.

Obviously Gardener’s handlers at the Cartel have secretly instructed him to come clean. Rugby fans are finally starting to wake up to what I’ve been saying for like, literally years: RUGBY IS COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY RIGGED!

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