Month: Nov 2018

Artful Aussies Snake White!

How do you outsnake a snake? Just ask the artful Aussie sheilas who just outsnaked the most venomous serpent in all of Rugbytainment™: Jake “The Snake” White! Apparently the story goes that old Jake managed to wrangle a conference call with none other than Raelene Castle .. aka You Know Who 😉 .. to presumably…

By Belson Keating 30th Nov 2018 Off

Angus the Gardener ADMITS Guilt!

Angus the Gardener, the man who committed Bryce Larceny against the Sprinboks by robbing them of a magnificent hulking green victory over the Poms just a couple of weeks ago, has ADMITTED that he was wrong when he turned a blind eye to Owen Farrell’s blatantly illegal tackle in the dying seconds of the test…

By Belson Keating 28th Nov 2018 Off

A Weekend of FAKE Rugby!

Another weekend, another round of bullsh!t FAKE rugby in its purest form! Only the Cartel itself could have dreamed up a script that would have allowed Wales to beat the Springboks, Fiji to take down France and their preciousssss All Pacific to run riot over Italy – all on the same day! Of course, the…

By Belson Keating 25th Nov 2018 Off

Boks to Harpoon Wales!

Call me Belson (Mr Belson if you’re a Kiwi) but strange signs have begun to reveal themselves to me again this week! Just a few days ago, while I was er….harpooning Mrs Keating, I suddenly had a revelation! I..er, came.. to the conclusion that the Boks are going to harpoon Wales as well! I was…

By Belson Keating 23rd Nov 2018 Off

Island Overcome the Darkness!

It’s happened boys! Island have done it for Uncle Belson and overcome the forces of rugby darkness by slaying the All Pacific poster boys by 16 points to 9 in Dublin! What’s more they did it despite Stuart Barnes overlooking an array of criminal acts by the Aotearoa International Gangsters, which ranged from deliberate slapping down of…

By Belson Keating 17th Nov 2018 Off

Boks PULVERIZE the Skirts!

The magnificent hulking green Springboks have dismantled the Skirts by 26 incredible points to 20, sending the precious little flowers of Scotland back to the drawing board to think again. Not even serial Bok hater and known Cartel agent, Romain Poite, could save the hapless haggis eaters from the brave warriors of Yarpie land. Handre…

By Belson Keating 17th Nov 2018 Off

Island vs New Zealand: The Belson Preview!

Well boys, kiss your sheep Sheilas and thank your lucky stars because Uncle Belson has decided to grace your third world island nations with his own special brand of creative non-fiction! That’s right chaps, the God Emperor himself has given me time off to scribble a preview of the forthcoming FAKE RUGBY match between Island…

By Belson Keating 15th Nov 2018 Off

NZ 16 – 15 ENG: Ain’t Karma a Bitch?

“We’re obviously devastated.” Those were the words of England coach Eddie Jones after his side’s spectacular 16-15 LOSS to World Rugbytainment Cartel’s precioussssss All Blacks. Of course, from a Yarpie perspective we’re obviously delighted that the Poms are devastated, especially after their hypocritical defense of Owen Farrell’s illegal tackle last week. But as they say…

By Belson Keating 11th Nov 2018 Off

Arrest Angus the Gardener Immediately!

Yes, you read that correctly folks! But just in case you didn’t, let me repeat myself: ARREST ANGUS THE GARDENER IMMEDIATELY! It took all my willpower not to call him Anus the Gardener but because I am a decent person I won’t sink to the Australian’s level. Even so, arrest the incompetent swine immediately! Now…

By Belson Keating 4th Nov 2018 Off