Month: Aug 2018

EXCLUSIVE: New Zealand Launches Space Programme!

New Zealand, the tiny island-nation lost among the South Pacific seaweed beneath Australia, has launched its very own space programme in an attempt to find new worlds large enough to contain its enormous rugby ego. In an act of patriotic self-sacrifice Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has volunteered her er… “services” to her sheep infested nation…

By Belson Keating 27th Aug 2018 Off

Los Pumas Devour PATHETIC Boks!

That’s it folks. The Rugbytainment SCAMpionship is effectively OVER! Just cancel the whole charade right now and award the trophy to New Zealand. We all know that was the Cartel’s original plan anyway. The Bumble Boks have just made it easier for them by going down 32-19 to Los Pumas in what can only be…

By Belson Keating 26th Aug 2018 Off

Aussie Sheilas Get SCAMMED!

Well folks, the Cheating Kiwis have a new trick! Their latest act of rugby malfeasance involves getting their players to run on to Aaron Smith’s blatant forward passes from the base of the ruck. Old Aaron was so forward you’d have sworn he’d wondered into the female toilets at his local airport. In fact, this ploy…

By Belson Keating 25th Aug 2018 Off

“A Yarpie Stole My Bledisloe!”

Greetings Bitches! I know I haven’t graced you with my incredible analysis for some time but the God Emperor had seconded me to attend to a matter of the utmost importance. Trade wars don’t just negotiate themselves you know! They require the delicate diplomatic skills that only yours truly can provide. Now that my job…

By Belson Keating 20th Aug 2018 Off