Month: Jun 2018

Brad Thorn’s Ironic Whingeing About the Ref!

Granny Schadenfreude Keating always used to say: “You should never laugh at the misfortune of others unless it’s funny.” Well in that case, BWHAHAHAAHAHAHAAA at Brad Thorn’s ironic whingeing about the current diabolical standard of refereeing! Of course, Big Bad Bwad was having a good cry after the team he coaches, the Reds, went down…

By Belson Keating 29th Jun 2018 Off

God Destroy NZ’s Anthem!

American singer Chrystal Collins has got New Zealanders in an an absolute tizz for butchering their precioussss national anthem – or enthem as the Kiwis call it – live on international television. The Kiwi FAKE NEWS media are already calling it the worst rendition of New Zealand’s national song at a sporting event EVER! Well…

By Belson Keating 26th Jun 2018 Off

Belson’s Hot vs Not-So-Hot Weekend Roundup!

Professor Belson’s weekend roundup of who deserves a special Belson Approved™ inclusion in the SMOKING HOT section versus the chumps, charlatans and Kiwi trolls who get dumped into the NOT-SO-HOT camp.   SMOKING HOT Rugbytainment.Com: The world’s GREATEST Rugbytainment™ site ever is just one week old and already it’s striking the fear of the God…

By Belson Keating 25th Jun 2018 Off

Brave English Bayonet Hapless Bumble Boks

Well, it’s official. The brave English have snapped a six game losing streak by beating the Boks 25-10 at Newlands. While they still lost the test series 2-1 they completely and utterly outplayed a hapless, bumbling Bok team that looked like it didn’t really feel like being out in the rain in Cape Town yesterday.…

By Belson Keating 24th Jun 2018 Off

Cartel Wins Another Series for NZ!

Well, well, well…another week another bulls#@*% refereeing decision that hands the game to New Zealand on a silver platter. It’s only a matter of time now before the Kiwis officially change their national anthem to Cartel Defend New Zealand. Not only did Irish ref George Lacey (the Kiwi trolls claim his name is John) fulfil…

By Belson Keating 24th Jun 2018 Off

A Leprechaun Stole My Test Series!

Other than seeing the Kiwis crying their eyes out in 1995 there are few more beautiful sights in the world than seeing a dejected David Pocock watching the ref blow full time to seal the fate of the Wobblies – a 2-1 series VICTORY to the visiting Leprechauns from Island. Even better was listening to…

By Belson Keating 24th Jun 2018 Off

Mike Brown DEMANDS Respect!

Mike Brown has demanded some RESPECT after a rabid English fan accused him and fellow thug lifer Joe Marler of not trying hard enough. “I’ve come in for a bit of criticism but I’m on 71 caps now – it would be nice to get a little bit of respect sometimes,” Brown told Sky Sports…

By Belson Keating 20th Jun 2018 Off

Uncle Belson’s Favourite Hakas!

Kiwis often chastise me for not showing enough appreciation for their culture. Just to prove them wrong, here’s a collection of Uncle Belson’s Top five hakas – with video and extra bonus material to boot!      1) Haka Circa 1922 If only Kiwis had the same level of respect today as the 1922 vintage.…

By Belson Keating 18th Jun 2018 Off

Hapless England Involved in Playstationgate!

As an astute observer of the human condition, Professor Belson has always been intrigued by the penchant of visiting English sportsmen to behave like prima donna football WAGs. So it comes as no surprise that the magnificent Robert Kitson of the Guardian newspaper reports that one of the visiting English rugby players committed the mortal…

By Belson Keating 18th Jun 2018 Off

“WE WUZ WRONG!” – Cartel

Hold on to your beer glasses Belsonators, the absolutely unthinkable has happened. World Rugbytainment™ Cartel itself has admitted its henchmen were WRONG to red card French fullback, Benjamin Fall, in the RIGGED test match “won” by the All Pacific this past Saturday. A so-called “independent” Cartel judicial committee found that: “… the player, at all times, had…

By Belson Keating 18th Jun 2018 Off

USA Trumpenate the Skirts

Houston, Scotland has a problem! And it’s called rugby! That’s right folks, the God Emperor’s own USA have made rugby great again by vanquishing an entire 15-man band of tartan-clad heathen who attempted to invade the great state of Texas. At one point, with the Skirts up 21-6, it looked like it was going to…

By Belson Keating 17th Jun 2018 Off

Bok WMDs Annihilate Pom Fairies to Take Series!

Well chaps, the mighty Boks have done it again! Thanks to their stupendous efforts in securing a 23-12 VICTORY over third world pretenders, England, the incredible green hulks have catapulted themselves from seventh in the Cartel’s farcical world rankings to fifth! Never thought I’d be happy about being the fifth best rugby team in the world…

By Belson Keating 16th Jun 2018 Off

The Cartel RIGS Another Game to Help All Blacks Beat France!

Surprise, surprise folks. The All Pacific XVI have emerged victorious over yet another visiting international team reduced to 14 men by a Cartel-inspired plot to prevent anyone from challenging their precioussssssss Rugbytainment™ marketing gimmick. No sooner had France secured a virtually unassailable 3-0 lead when none other than Beauden “TV Dive” Barrett launched a ridiculous,…

By Belson Keating 16th Jun 2018 Off

Eddie Jones Picks Kiwi Vampire to Attack Boks!

Yes folks, you read that correctly. The wily old dingo that is Eddie Jones has gone and picked a legit, Kiwi Vampire to attack the Boks where they’re most vulnerable…on the field of play! I’ve always thought there was something strange about Brad “Fake Pom” Shields. Yes, I know….like all Kiwis, his eyes are a…

By Belson Keating 15th Jun 2018 Off

The Belson News Network is Born!

HAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahaaaaa!!! Greetings bitches! After warning you for like, literally years that I was going to do something BIGLY to strike the fear of the God Emperor into the ice cold hearts of the Cartel, I have finally done it! In deference to the God Emperor (peace be upon Him) I have waited until one day…

By Belson Keating 15th Jun 2018 Off